A Year of Progress: Reflections on Women's Leadership Summit 2011

It’s strange to think that it was only a year ago that I attended Shandel Slaten’s Women’s Leadership Summit (Read my initial reaction here). Reflecting back on the year that has passed since I’m going to attempt to describe the monumental shift that has happened in my life.

A year ago, I was exhausted, emotionally drained and extremely unhealthy. Having co-founded my first company a year and a half prior, my main priority at that moment was my business. We had gone through our share of the usual start-up woos and my partner and I were devoting every bit of our energy to get the company to the next phase. I had let my family, friends, and health slowly slip away from me. I didn’t realize how detrimental those decisions were at the time.

The Summit was a wake up call for me. A lot of things in my life were wrong but I couldn't put my finger on what, why or how to fix things. As I spoke to different women at the event, I realized I wasn’t the only one going through these issues. I wasn’t alone. What’s more, some of the women I spoke with had taken steps to identify what they didn’t like about their life and had changed it.

What Shandel said on stage that day had really resonated with me so I asked if my company would sponsor some coaching sessions with her to see if I could get to the bottom of some of my issues. The first couple of sessions, Shandel listened and asked questions to push me to explore certain topics more deeply. I remember now that all I talked about those first couple of sessions was who or what was holding me back.

On the fourth session, reality struck. I will never forget the feeling. It was terrifying and empowering at the exact same moment. I had finally found the problem and the problem was me. I was pointing my finger at everyone else but not really taking the time to point inward and look at myself. You’ve probably heard this a thousand times before. It’s not you, it’s me. But it’s not until you decide to look at yourself through a very, very honest lens that it really makes a different.

Suddenly, I could breathe again. You can’t control every situation around you but you CAN control how you react to them. Even though my self-esteem was at the lowest it’s been in a while, I was relieved and suddenly able to let go of all of the negative energy I was holding onto.

This was huge for me and allowed Shandel and I to move onto the next step of the process. Rolling up our sleeves and really starting to dig into me. Who I was. What I believed. Most importantly, what I valued.

Values are your foundation. As you solidify your values, you have a whole new way of filtering all of your decisions and to really start defining what you want out of your life. What do I mean by this? My personal values consist of my family, my friends, my health, my growth and helping others grow. Last winter, when my younger brother who had recently moved to Taiwan to study abroad asked me to travel with him somewhere in Asia, the decision was a no brainer. I went to Vietnam with him for two weeks.

After Shandel and I worked on defining my values, I was finally able to look at my life and identify what needed to change. I prioritized calling my family and connecting with my friends. I started make sure to leave work in time to make it to volleyball. I started investing in reading material that wasn’t work related. I eventually decided to leave the company I co-founded in order to explore more growth opportunities.

I still have a lot of work to do. I just finished taking Shandel’s Life 301 course, which has added an entirely new level of defining what success in my life looks like. This is a daunting task for me but just another step that I know will bring clarity to my life.

People in my life have noticed that I smile more. It’s easier to wake up. I have more energy. I’m a better friend. I’m a better listener.

So if you feel exhausted, stressed and without any direction, I’d recommend that you start by attending this summit. Come open minded and see where it takes you.

New Gig: LiveFamily

Yesterday was my first day at a new organization and I must say it was strange. In a good way.

I've taken a position over at a wholly owned subsidiary of Intelius called LiveFamily. The product, a digital community for families, was developed by FamilyBuilder back in 2008 and has evolved from a stand alone Facebook application to include a mobile product.

The strange part about this position is that the company I work for functions as a start-up within the larger organization of Intelius. When I showed up yesterday there was already a computer on my desk, my email was set up, I had access to the server and my paperwork was ready to sign. I had to chuckle a bit.

Reflections on Vietnam

Only having been here for two weeks it is difficult to formulate an opinion on the entire country. I've heard many tales on this trip from a tour guides description of getting typhoid at a very young age and living through it even though the doctors had told his mother he was a goner to an expats assessment of the countries affluent to a restaurant owner's tale of a 6 month marriage that ended when is wife left him for a man with more money. While vastly different stories, they all have a common thread. Something that I witnessed and felt defined those that I met. Survival.

This country has seen many repressive regimes and ugly wars waged in their backyard. Same, same. Same, same but different. A phrase used regularly seems to highlight their attitude towards those aggressors. It's not about who but when. Either way, one thing remains constant, the people of Vietnam focus on surviving.

After visiting the war museum and seeing the carnage that was left by my country, I doubted whether I could show the same courtesy to someone from a country that had ____ my fellow countrymen. I wondered whether the Vietnamese people had gotten over the atrocities of the American War or were they just being polite?

Sitting in the airport reflecting back on the trip, I truly believe that, given the county's history, the Vietnamese people, generation after generation, have been instilled with a unique coping mechanism. It is this mechanism that allows them the flexibility and determination to survive. It leaves little room for bitterness and spit.

In one hostel, I watched as two girls proceeded to berate the receptionist. The girls had been careless. They were at fault. Drunkenly late for a plane. Not planning effectively and yelling obscenities at this young lady. I was about to say something when they abruptly left the building. After a few minutes, I walked over to the reception desk. I commented on how patient she was and how I would have not been able to handle myself with as much grace as she had. She smiled, shrugged her shoulders, and said tomorrow is a new day. I was impressed. This was not the first or last time in Vietnam that I would witness events that illustrated the Vietnamese focus on a positive future, which I believe is at the heart of their survival instinct.

My experience blatantly over simplifies things. However, now that I've been to this country, I would love to have the opportunity to return and dive a little deeper into the hearts and minds of its people.

A New Path

At the beginning of January I read an article by Jeff Bussgang called “Scaling A Business Is Hard” which addresses some of the major issues that lay ahead of start-ups in order to grow. To help illustrate his points, Bussgang described three stages of a start-up; “the jungle”, “the dirt road” and “the highway”. I found that “the jungle” analogy, which likens the beginning stage of a start-up to hacking your way through dense jungle, really resonated for me.

This past Monday, I turned 28. Reflecting on this article, I realize that while I’ve been instrumental in “hacking through the jungle” for Project Bionic, I'd like experience in those two other stages. That is why, after careful consideration, I've decided to turn in my hatchet, hopefully for a dirt bike.

I’m very proud to have been a part of Project Bionic. The company is in extremely capable hands and has a bright future ahead of it.

One thing is for sure. I'm excited for the road trip ahead.

Incredible Birthday in Seoul

Despite the dodgy start to my stay here in Seoul, I've decided to start a relationship with this city.

In all seriousness, I've fallen for this city. There are just some places in the world that you visit and feel comfortable. Just like discovering a deeper connection with a person. The city is incredible. Vibrant, friendly, and clean. It has embraced modernity while still fully respecting its cultural past.

Like I mentioned before, there is not as much English here as in Vietnam but people are always trying to lend a hand even if they do it in Korean. My favorite moment was a man smiling, taking my subway ticket, inserting it in the exit gate and gentle guiding me through the doors. I had been there for several minutes waiting to see someone else go through.

People here don't seem to smile as much here but they still seem very happy. I will need to do more research to validate this conclusion though.

I'm not sure why but this was the first time a subway has intimidated me. My sense of direction is one of the few assets I bring to the table when traveling so feeling as if I couldn't rely on it was unnerving.

However, as always, you just got to go for it in order to figure it out so I decided to take the subway to Gyeongbokgung Palace. After that not only was I instantly comfortable with the system but I also realized how intuitive it was. For example, they number every stop on a line. This helps you figure out what direction you are going and when to get off. It's very helpful if you don't know the language.

At Gyeongbokgung, I was stunned. It was beautiful. Freezing cold but incredible. I saw the changing of the guards which has now gone on my list of favorites. I walked around the many different buildings in the complex. The architecture, sculptures, landscaping and patterns were lovely.

Not having a whole lot of time here, I made my way to the Namdaemun market. For less than $5 I ate like a queen. Even though there were a lot of tourists, I felt like the business men and women of Seoul were out in force, taking advantage of this cheap lunch option.

Now I sit at Incheon International Airport. Awaiting my flight home. I can't believe my journey has come to an end, however, fortunately I know it is not the last.

Seoul

This has been one of the strangest ways I've ever rung in my birthday...

It all started 9 hours ago when I boarded my plane for South Korea. Five hours later I arrived at Incheon International Airport. I had planned on spending my evening at the airport since Incheon has sleeping and showering facilities, however, I was shuttled through customs and out of the terminal so efficiently that I decided to head into the city and pay for a hotel there. I was very excited to see on my handy dandy iPhone that there were many different opinions available for me in the center of the city.

From the airport, I boarded the express train to the city. It only takes about 45 minutes directly to Seoul Station, which looks so central on a map. Super easy! However, on the train I immediately took notice that very few things were translated in English.

Walking out of the train station, I had my first rude awakening. It was cold and not just Seattle cold but ice cold. There was snow on the ground. My plan had been to go somewhere with free wifi and find a hotel on my hotels.com app. The cold and the fact that everything was closed when I arrived at 10am really stifled that plan. Fortunately, there was a Hilton close. I walked there only to realize that it was a five star Hilton and rooms were $280 a night.

That manager unwilling to budge at all on the price put me in a cab to Myeong-dong. In the cab I encountered my second issue. There are hills in Seoul. Similar to Seattle. On the map the distance had looked walkable. In the taxi, I was thankful i had a ride.

In Myeong-dong, the streets were still a little busy. This is apparently the shopping district of the city. There were a couple hotels in the area so I walked into one and asked for a room. I was not going to get the best rate this way but it was cold, late and dark. I'm only in Seoul for 22 hours so I knew I had to bite the bullet. The room ended up being roughly the same price as the five star room Kenny and I stayed at in Saigon. Fun.

After I put what little stuff I have (my luggage is at the airport) in my room, I went out to find some food. Wanting to stay close to my hotel, I went into the restaurant that had the most people within a two block radius of my hotel. It was not until after I sat down that I learned that the only thing they had on their menu was fried chicken. Oh dear.

The food turned out to be delicious with the only issue being that I don't like fried chicken at all. As I was eating a group of drunken Korean guys approached my table. They started asking me questions in broken english. A group of girls next to me intervened and I started talking to them. Turns out they are tourists, like everyone else I the restaurant, visiting from the Philippines. When they heard i was by myself, they decided not to leave until after the men left. We ate our dinner, chatting about our respective homelands, and then parted ways.

Now I'm back at my hotel. The clock just turn to midnight. It's officially my birthday. About to sleep for six hours before exploring as much of the city as I can before my flight.

Birthday Pool

Kenny and I got back from the Mekong Delta yesterday evening. We had a great time staying at the home stay which I posted a picture of yesterday. We met some really awesome people including two German girls that ended up coming out with us last night.

Today is my last day in Vietnam and since I'm flying on my birthday I decided to treat myself and Kenny to a birthday pool day at Legend hotel here in Saigon.

After traveling very frugally the whole entire trip, it's nice to enjoy a little bit of comfort the day before I leave.