Can you crowdsource a bio?

I find it extremely difficult to talk about myself. In the first or third person. When it came time to create individual bios for our company profile page, I was the first one to run for the hills screaming.

Since then I have sat around night after night, staring at this word doc full of makeshift paragraphs and sentences. Some thoughts feel creative at the time, however, return the next night, I realize how unoriginal and silly they are. Just to embarrass myself a little a couple examples include highlighting my analytical prowess with a reference to the board game "221 B Baker Street", describing the moment I became aware of the power of discriminating information (an Inspector Gadget episode when Penny saves the day with her computer book) and showcasing my current experience of short-form communication with a bio created entirely out of soundbites. Like I said, not so original the next day.

Given my current trajectory, my bio will never be finished. That is why I am turning to my friends and family. HELP ME!

Here is what I need: An Intro.

I have no problem with the body of the resume, I just have trouble starting it. I can fill in the technical details of how I helped charter more efficient business practices or that I delivered strategic business solutions that increased overall ROI. That part is not my problem.

I just can't start it. "Strategic, proactive and creative, ____ possesses over four years..." "Despite his youthful appearance, ___ is an old hand at new business" "As an individual who has always loved technology, ____has been dabbling"

What do you think? Will you help me? Can I harness the power of my community to get my bio on the fast track? At this point, I am willing to try anything.