A New Year: 2013

Like many people, I believe that writing something down is a form of personal accountability and while I don't necessarily agree with New Year's Resolutions, this time of year provides the perfect opportunity for one to reflect on what they have or have not done and what they would like to do in the future.

2012 was a rough year for me. I could sugar coat it but as social media has created such a chasm between reality and what we choose to share with our online communities, I think there is a growing need for a bit of truth and honesty on the internet.

I'm not going to go into details but 2012 broke me. I played a large part in that. Stripping myself down to the bare bones in an attempt to discover who I really am and what I really want from my life. I still have a lot of work to do but feel (and hope) the hardest part is behind me.

Which brings me to 2013. While I understand a quick turnaround is unlikely, I realized something incredible at the turn of this year. Something that I didn't understand and took for granted before. I have an incredibly solid foundation in the form of my family and friends. On any given day, I can count on them to provide me with support, encouragement and unconditional love. I'm so grateful that my first hope for 2013 is to give back that same support to them.

This new realization has had some interesting side effects. What I became aware of was that while 2012 was tough for me there are so many other people in this world who are struggling who do not have the solid foundation of family and friends that I do. While I work hard for what I have, I was born into this life. I don't deserve my good fortune more than anyone else. I just got lucky and because of that, I think it's incredibly important for me to give back to the people who are less fortunate than I am. 

I'd like to set an actionable and achievable goal for this particular sentiment since it's really important to me that I follow through. Several years ago I was introduced to a program called Christmas Cheer. Every year, since 1960, the Dallas (in Oregon) community comes together the day before Christmas to collect, allocate and distribute food and gifts for families in need in their area. Not only is it a great tradition and opportunity for the community to come together during the holidays but it reminds those young and old of how grateful they are for what they have. My family lives in San Diego and now I celebrate the holidays down south. They have nothing like Christmas Cheer in their area so what I'd like to do in 2013 is bring that tradition to their community.

Another reflection that I continue to work on but still struggle with is judgement. It's so easy to do and happens so quickly. I've missed judged a lot of people over the years and I finally realized it was an issue for me at the beginning of 2012. Since then I'm really proud to say that I've made progress. The opposite of judgement is seeing beauty in each person. What I was surprised to learn, as I stopped judging people and opened myself up to all of these wonderful and unique perspectives, was that I was the one who benefited the most. In the past year, particularly at work, I've been able to build stronger, more open relationships with my coworkers than I ever had before. That being said, I have a long road to go. The other evening I said something so rude and judgmental to a friend about another friend's new girlfriend that I wanted to run into a hole and never come out again. My friend is a good person and called me out on it immediately. The shame has still not gone away from that moment. So I want to continue working. Continue to improve! I'm not sure how I can make this one actionable but as I mentioned before, writing it down is a start!

To recap, for 2013:
1.) Show my family and friends how important they are too me every day.
2.) Give back.
3.) Continue to work on seeing the beauty of every individual as opposed to judging immediately based on my own insecurities.

That is where I'm going to start. I think it's still a tall order but I'm excited about it!

Reflecting back on 2012, I'm very fortunate to have a younger and MUCH wiser brother, who provided me with this tidbit:



He didn't realize I was going to make it the closing to this blog post. Until now. Love you so much, Bro!